I found this in my archive of posts long since deleted from public view. I thought it belonged here, in this new permanent place. It was written in February of 2010. It seems, I have not progressed much since then. It's good to re-read these old things though, I gain a sense of confidence that I am not a complete and total waste of space and that I may have some things worthy of saying out loud after all.

I have been absent from blogging for a little while. Mental block. Often times, I have rhetorical conversations in my head where I ponder my purpose. Where am I going? What am I doing? Am I making a difference in the world that I live in? Usually, when it feels like I am going nowhere fast, I turn to old photos, cards from birthdays and anniversary's past, and the archives of my blogs. They are a reminder to me that even though everyday seems like the last, there are small, sometimes subtle moments that make up this life. I find enormous joy in nostalgia.

The other day, my daughter pulled out my box of photos and cards. She found things from her limited past and had her own little trip down memory lane. It was so much fun to tell her the stories and memories and listen as she shared her remembrances about those occasions.

One day, she will be a teenager who thinks I hate her and thinks that my sole purpose in life is to make hers miserable. One day, she will leave our home, to find her own purpose. One day, she will get married and have babies, and understand that her purpose is to love, protect and teach. One day, she might read my blog and then she will understand me and we will be great friends.

Every now and then, I share with you, the story of us. I have wondered how much of us I should share with you, what is the appropriate level of public sharing that I should do? At what point does it become less about my personal journey and more about making sure you are entertained?

After a particularly long and mentally exhausting day last week, I did a blog round-up. I read things from the very beginning of my sharing adventure back in early 2000 all the way through today. It was very revealing to see how things have changed over the last few years. In work, relationships, thought processes. I decided to consolidate the things that were relevant and purge the rest. Then, I put them here, in one place. It's the story of me, the story of us, and maybe, sometimes the story of you. It's my little place in this world where I find some purpose and leave my legacy.