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Left Lane Squatters- Or Get Outta the Fast Lane A-Hole

By 11:00:00 AM

People who hang out in the left lane and are not speeding or passing, should be throat punched. If I could follow these people to their final destination, I would, and then I would hand out said throat punch with a very full and detailed explanation, as they writhe in pain on the ground. Sadly, there are too many people that engage in this behavior and I have neither the time or resources to devote to punishing them. 

 Since it seems that people have forgotten or perhaps were never taught the rules of the left lane on a fast moving highway/freeway, allow me to share some that I find to be most practical. 

 Fast Lane Rules

 Are you doing the speed limit? NO?
MOVE

 Are you passing a slow moving car? NO?
MOVE

 Is someone riding your ass? NO?
MOVE

 Are you in my way? YES!
MOVE!

 Is your name Lisa? NO!
MOVE

 All I'm sayin' is if you're in mine or anyone's way, have some common freaking decency and move the eff over. 

 That is all. 


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